In the last article I talked about being BORN AGAIN the spiritual and natural aspect of growing up. We started from Birth to 4 years of age which is called the Self Stage and what can happen if the right foundation is created during this stage. As I was going through MY change, the Lord took me through a series of different studies about human behavior. I found that there are six distinct human stages of development which affect the ability to love. As we grow, if these stages are not administered correctly, our definition of love can be all wrong.
But, we are not here to concentrate on the wrong but how can we get it right! Growth Level is continuing the stages of love from where we left off, Birth to Four (4) of Age. The article will open your thinking and expose you to landmines that were placed in your mind, so many years ago, that it was unknown, even to you. We will expose the plots and plans by revealing the time frame in which they were originally planted in your mind, allowing you the opportunity to removed them once and for all. We are destroying wrong mindsets at it root.
In BORN AGAIN, we learned that we are now spiritually responsible to be mature in the things of Christ. We have moved from being co-dependent on things of the world over to depending on the Kingdom and its resources. But we also must know what areas have been damaged prior to being born again. Obtaining a full understanding of the emotional development of a person will help you better understand what obstacles you must overcome. I will give you a brief description of the next stage, 5-7 People Pleas-er in this article.
When a child has reached the ages of 5-11, it is said that they are in their “Pleasing Others / Fairness” stage according to Dr. Jayne Major. This is the stage when they realized that the grown up is in charge and they are doing what they are told to do. They can be outer directed seeking rewards for being good. If the child, age 5-7, doesn't get past this growing stage correctly they’ll never move to the Fairness level found during ages 7-11.
She mentions this being a crucial time for parents to show there appreciation. This is a great time to put up pictures on the wall of their first achievements, a time to develop thinking skills and more. It is said if this stage does not become fully developed you are likely to see the child become co-dependent.
What is a co-dependent? Co-dependent is “an emotional, psychological and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual’s prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules – rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems.”
Without training, we tend to fall into the same old patterns that doesn’t have any principles. But God is a God of patterns and principles!! (Selah.)
Passage Proverbs 22: 6: AMP Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.(A)
When I read Proverb 22:6, it has a greater and significant meaning than most people see it. I see the parable as both a natural and spiritual representation. Yes, it refers to a physical child being raised but we, also being children in Christ, must be raised up in our mental thinking.
To train is to teach; to teach is to lead; to lead we have to know how to follow. Leading our minds to be trained in the way that we should follow; not your will but Thy will be done. We surely will not depart from him. Lets say the scripture like this “retrain your mind in the way God intended it to go.”
In our growth process (in Christ), we are responsible for letting our old nature die. It must pass away before the “new” can take place. If this negative personality trait is not dealt with, we will carry it over into our new birth. We can’t help where we came from, but we have the ability to change where we are going because you are a Child of the most high!
Luke 5:37-38 And no man putteth new wine into old wineskins; else the new wine will burst the wineskins and be spilled, and the wineskins shall perish. But new wine must be put into new wineskins, and both are preserved.
Kingdom Personality Development: Kingdom personality development (my new program) J is a prepared prescription of information that will transform you from a world view and religious mindset to a Kingdom Mindset. It is from the Word of God which uses the epistles that Paul wrote as a road map! Birth to 15yrs and 15yrs to adulthood is set up in two types of thinking. First concrete thinking and if taught and developed correctly you see the move from concrete world think to spiritual abstract thinking. It’s similar to the self actualization survival methods when it comes to behaviors.
Spiritually it becomes important that our child like thinking starts to acknowledge our achievements again. This is where our Father is trying to take us. It is important around this stage (5-7), to keep things positive for a successful spiritual and natural growth, not only for you but for your children too. Healing comes within, if we put a band aid on it doesn’t heal but just cover up the wound. In covering up the behavior we are just creating scars and there are too many people walking around with uncovered scars with in the body.
Let get rid of the scars, !
In my research I found a website that will help better explain Co-Dependent Personality.
Signs of a Co-dependent Personality
1. Relationship addiction ~ they have no sense of self or feel they are of value and so they must continually be in an intimate relationship to feel that “high” much like an alcoholic with liquor.
2. Lack of Boundaries ~ as part in parcel with their chameleon behavior co-dependents have a habit of lacking emotional boundaries. They will often feel whatever the person around them is feeling.
3. Value is placed on what people think of them ~ Pretty self-explanatory. They will apologize for things they cannot control, a co-dependents goal is to figure out what a person wants and to give it to them.
4. Indispensable ~ co-dependents really feel that people would not want them around if they were not giving something so their goal is to make themselves indispensable.
5. What Do You Think? ~ is a question that you will often hear from a co-dependent. They do not believe or trust enough in their own perceptions and so must go to many other sources in order to have their opinion validated.
6. Center of The Universe ~ co-dependents are self-centered but in a much different way. If there is a problem, they will bring it back to them as if it is their fault. “You look angry. What did I do?” is often heard coming from the co-dependent.
7. Emotional Walls ~ due to a co-dependent’s need to help and take care of others they neglect themselves, which in turn causes them to become out of touch with their own feelings.
8. A Liar ~ Most people lie to get themselves out of trouble and a co-dependent is not much different. They lie to others to get themselves out of uncomfortable situations, or out of confrontations, they also lie to themselves when it comes to their feelings.
9. Fear of Abandonment ~ the co-dependent personality needs to be involved in every aspect of their significant other’s life. If they are not, the co-dependent perceives it as abandonment.
10. Control and Judgment ~ one thing that the co-dependent craves is control, this disease arises from a deep seeded fear. They build an illusion around themselves and try to control all of the variables to keep that illusion in place.
Last Words: If you fit any of these personalities or behaviors and you are a BORN AGAIN child of Christ, then realize that this is not a healthy GROWTH LEVEL when it comes to Kingdom mindset. So ask yourself: Is it time to really get healed?